sifting, sandy, seeking,
searching./
fumbling, feeling, finding, waters./
I look
up./
it cannot be found./
i close my eyes and try
again./
sinking down, down, down./
drifting motionless
around./
light airy bubbles bathing me flow upward bound as i
fall further and further, far and forever down.//

then, the
unconsious stirs./
whispering, winding, wending, whorls./
deep thinking thoughts like polished pearls never found from
upside down./
drifting down, down, down./
sinking
soundless through the vast expanse of the firmaments void./
facing foward, further and further, far and forever down.//

fearless./
a slight shift starts a rift, the unconscience
begins to surge./
into another pocket of air tight pensieve
pearls./
falling drown, drown, drown./
pressing,
pushing, peircing through such fragile forms./
upwards
backwards sending me spinning topside turns towards what wrong
side round.//

finding feeling:; flowing, current found
slowly pulling me out surrounding me now./
drifting
motionless around sinking furhter and further, deeper and deeper,
far and forever down.//

….

the wind in the waves
my thoughts they amaze./
pensive and perilous I watch they
churn careless.//

an inseparable force running its
super natural course./
a strangely familiar liquid laughs at
the shore.//

i have been here before./
i can’t
remember the way.//

i have been here before, again and
again./
only to find out the truth once more.//

….

the concsience sound//

linens and
lace, one such erotic embrace.  an exotic encounter but only
so an hour.  so dawn goes down to day, nothing gold can
stay.

much good news to be announced… a day
in the life styled after yours truly.  as it turns out, it
seem as though i had gotten much accomplished this semester. 
not surprising is the fact that i may have created quite a buzz
among the art department.  far be it from me to assume
anything but, i believe it is quite something when a professor
that you had never been acquainted with introduces herself you and
addresses you by name in so doing.  that is awfully peculiar
in any case, it is not every day that a teacher approaches a
sophemore out of the blue.  her motives are unknown and they
are driving me crazy.  i was so overwhelmed by the whole
encounter that i can scarcely recall what it was all about. 
i was honestly flabergasted,  utterly at a lose of
words.  whats more is that my graphic design instructor
informed me that one of his superiors made a compliment on one of
my pieces of work; the poster that i had been doing for the local
organic foods store blooming foods.  i can’t help but think
that there might yet be something in store for me in the way of
more recognition in the near future.  however i try not to
jump to conclusions so as to avoid getting myself all worked up as
well as my expectations. 

i made this.

pulling hair, gritting teeth, i could really use some relief.

splitting hairs, pulling teeth, i could really use a
release.

these, the products of pent up stress, what 
mess, was so depressed. 

see it put to good use.

sapere
aude!  “have courage to use your own reason.”

“you
know, the greeks didn’t write obituaries, they only asked one
question after a man died, ‘did he have passion?'”

you raise an interesting
point i had previously been thinkng about. I myself am not yet
quite sure about, i have often wondered whether or not
there was a distinct difference between courage and ambition. to
me, it seems as though that courage would be the ability to go
willingly into the darkness despite ones fear of the unknown,
whereas in ambition it requires a certain element of knowledge;
sort of an educated guess if you will. can one be courageous as
well as ambitious or is this what separates the two? do they go
hand in hand? can you not have one with out the other? i have been
struggling to discern the difference, perhaps if these terms were
more well defined it would be easier to tell them apart the two if
of course there is any differentiation. and you? what do you think
on this matter. debatable. however, if this is so,that they are
the same, then… yes one may still posess courage in the abscence
of certain ambition and its so seemingly deliberate resolve. or
rather the adamant tenacity and resoluteness of being determinedly
steadfast. lol, adjectives are fun. i love adjectives. so
long…

gah stress i need to find a worth outlet
soon.