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i once was described as, “sticking out by not
trying to stand out.”  i was once described, in a word, as
being; “Quirky.”  i.e.– see: my picture in Merrium
Webesters’ New Collegiate Dictionary Unabridged…. i think you’ll
find me as a toy monkey. 

now, i think i am
beginning to understand why…. I don’t tend to think much like
other people.  Other people don’t care much to think like
me.  ideas often occur to me, although i don’t fully realize
it, but, that they happen simultaneously.  both; each.

i guess that’s what makes me an artist; “there’s nobody
weird like me.”~RHCP ….however, those who are, are often few and
far-between yet, at the same time, we are not so far-removed at
all either, though, we may say strange things at times.  

occasionally, i stare at myself in the mirror in
wonder, shock and awe. pontificating as to who is looking back at
me, or rather, from which vantage point and what perspective. it
occurs to me that i am different. but, how?  ….i don’t
know.

i realize that i too have potential for
change; pure and simple:  Truth.  it is what it
is.  that’s all there is to it.  i can explain a lot,
but, i can’t explain everything.  i can’t explain this. 
it is a feeling i get.  i have no reservations, so, i just go
with it.  

perhaps if i practice both
patience, prudence, brevity and levity each, sometimes i’ll find
that we are not so different after all and that we were actually
thinking of the same thing anyways. please. pardon me, i am still
learning to understand. thanks.

they are both
right…. i stand up, i stick out, however, maybe i am not unlike
the brass monkey.  although i may go around in circles
banging cymbals on peoples heads with ideas and the truth in the
way things are as i see them.  instead however, i should
smile, keep my mouth shut readjust, and then grin and bear it.
 learn; understand.

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“I don’t get the news from from the internet; I get the news from my friends.”~m./ i don’t get the news from the internet, the radio, or the paper either;  i get news from people who do something about it.  although, it is one thing when you do something and people talk about it; however, it is another when you talk about doing something and forget to do it–because talking about doing something triggers a reward mechanism in the brain, therefore it is far less likely that you do anything at all.  meanwhile, for weeks and months I have been trying to “find my voice.”  last year, i spent many hours and many nights awake learning to “develop my style,” drawing, painting, singing, playing, et cetera.  i am inspired by someone i met. since then, i have been doing everything i can as i can do it to understand why.   in the meantime, i was listening to a podcast on NPR and/or http://www.themoth.org/listen called “Man & Beast” by Alan Rabinowitz when it occurred to me. what i realized was, that i have been learning to understand.  all this time i have been trying to find “my voice,” and “develop my style,” i didn’t “find” anything.  i was creating something inside my self doing things with other people for others.   so like this man, who, had experienced much difficulty speaking to others throughout his life saved animals, in patience, prudence, levity & brevity, rather, I have been far more able to articulate myself through my actions instead of words.   Silence is golden; actions performed in silence speak louder than words.  See with your ears; listen with your eyes.  Wait…. Take a vow of silence.

This article inspired by National Public Radio.  Support NPR; The Moth: Story Core.  Please subscribe.  Thank you.

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